(The Following is an excerpt from Srila Jagadananda Pandita’s ‘Sri Prema Vivarta‘)
(Srila Jagadananda Pandita remembers)
aha se chaitanya pada bhajanera sampada
kotha ebe gelo ama chhadi
amake feliya gela mrityu mor na haila
shoke ami yai gadagadi
(Sri Prema Vivarta, 2.17)
O! the feet of Lord Chaitanya are the wealth of one’s devotion. Where have they gone now abandoning me? They have left me alone; and yet I continue to live. I roll about in the ground suffering this intense agony of separation.
Once in my childhood, I quarreled at school and fought with Sri Chaitanya. After this, I became filled with sadness and cried day and night, sitting on the bank of the Ganges at Mayapur.
Feeling compassionate, the Lord came to me before dawn along with Gadadhara Pandita, and called out, ‘Jagadananda! Such anger is not good at all. Give up your stubbornness and speak to Me’.
Seeing the Lord’s face my anger melted away and I asked, ‘Why have you come here so late at night? It must have caused You great pain to walk upon the hard roads of Nadia. Have You undertaken this difficulty just for my sake ?’
The Lord said, ‘Let’s go! The night has ended. Go to your house and eat. Understanding your sadness, even I had been fasting till now. I had left my bed and slept on the floor.
At that time Gadadhara came to my house and we together came here searching for you. It is good that you have abandoned your anger. Now go to your house and tomorrow we can joyfully play together’.
Holding onto the feet of Gadadhara, I slowly raised myself. I could not disobey the orders of Lord Chaitanya. Thereafter, I went to the Lord’s house. There I ate something and drank some water and laid down to rest for a few hours.
In the morning, mother Saci and Jagannatha Misra fed me milk and rice and sent me to school with the Lord. After returning from school, the Lord came over to my house and we ate together.
Love after a quarrel is like pure gold. I felt so blissful in my heart. The Lord said, ‘It is because of our love for each other that we get angry with each other. Each quarrel strengthens our love for each other’.
Jagadananda’s love for Sri Chaitanya
One who does not worship moonlike Lord Chaitanya is crazy. If you worship Him, you shall relish the greatest joy. He is an embodiment of magnanimity. Who can possibly forget Him ? He bestows boundless mercy upon His servants.
Lord Chaitanya is my Lord and I shall never desert Him. He is the Lord of my life. I get up and embrace anyone who utters His name and calls out ‘Chaitanya’ .That person becomes my dearest friend.
I do not look at the face of anyone who doesn’t say ,’O Chaitanya ! You are the treasure of my life’. Seeing the face of anyone who has forgotten Lord Chaitanya, even if they are Gods or Goddesses , spoils my morning.
chaitanye chhadiya anya sannyasire kare manya
tare yashti kariba prahara
chhadiya chaitanya-katha anya itihasa vrithha
bale yei mukhe aguna tara
(Sri Prema Vivarta.)
I will beat anyone with a stick who neglects Chaitanya and honors other renunciates. I will throw fire into the mouth of anyone who leaves aside the discussion of Chaitanya and talks about frivolous or meaningless subjects.
If I need to endure pain to please Lord Chaitanya, then let me suffer such anguish eternally. But if He gives up His pleasures and joys and accepts the life of a renunciant, I feel overwhelmed with grief.